I have decided to devote all of my time over the holidays to going between CNN, MSNBC and Fox to get a pulse about what is important to ‘Mericans. Since the UMesseh are our closest buddies and neighbours we need to understand the trends that will eventually infilitrate our humble little country. Such as the Mess’ previous entries into Canada such as gun and gang violence, graffiti, declining educational standards and of course more garbage in the streets. And all along the way we get to be enthralled with all those progressives who have all the answers to all of the little questions we have. God bless those ‘Self Appointed Saviours of Society’ who will tell us how to live.
Headlines for December
—Homegrown terrorism. Should we worry? If they are like most of the homegrowns, they’ll be bloated, out of shape, lacking education, skills and desire and highly unlikely to build anything that would be of any value (let alone actually work). They’ll probably spend more time on their ‘Smart phone” staring blankly at video or texting their friends about how good their triple cheeseburger was today while skipping school.
—Gays in the military. Not that theres anything wrong with that.
–North Korea, Russia, China, Mexico. Does anyone fear the UMess anymore?
—Speaking of Mexico. Why not let everyone in–criminals and all? The progressives long standing success in rehabilitating criminals and creating prosperity, food and happiness for the worlds poor should help these folks out nicely and get them ready to assimilate into the Mess. And vote Democrat of course.
—Food supply under attack. First it was Michelle Obama, now Al Qaeda. Could be a conspiracy between the two. IF AQ attacks school cafeteria’s, general buffets and Fat food establishments, Michelle wins. If they go after salad bars and Whole Foods the US will never leave Afghanistan to protect MO’s honour.
—Assange-aside. The act of declaring the freedom of all information in the interests of ones fame and prosperity